Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements

Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Have a Sense of Humour

This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Surprise Each Other at Times

This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past

It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness

Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Express Feelings Often

This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Spend Quality Time Together

It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Be Your Mate's Best Friend

Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse

Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations

Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage! - Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage!

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.

Women Rights in Islam - As for her legal rights:

1. As for her legal rights:

She is a fully capable human being, who has got rights to appeal or to be a witness.

In the end, we have only touched on this huge topic here, but have you truly ever seen a Law so kind to women as this, or even half of this? But as Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says {Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their breasts} (Hajj 46)

All quotes used from the Quran where taken from the The Holy Qur’an translation and commentary by A. Yusuf Ali, (published by Islamic Propagation Centre International, Durban)

Women Rights in Islam - And gave her social rights

1. And gave her social rights:

For she owns and sells, buys and gives.  In short, women in Islam have their own financial independence.

Women Rights in Islam - And as for her social rights

1. And as for her social rights:

GOD gave her the right to be educated and to be taught how to behave, exactly like her brother, the man {O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men (i.e. mankind) and stones}(Tahrim 6)

And the Prophet Mohammad had advised of the importance of education, as in the Hadeeth by Anas, recorded by Al Tarmathy that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “Education is compulsory for every Muslim” (Al Targheeb 72)

 And so this Hadeeth shows that there is no difference between a man and woman in this religion when it comes to learning.

So was it confirmed in the true Sunnah that the Prophet (peace be upon him) had advised for a woman (Hafsa) to be educated and insisted on her being taught to write.

And it is the woman’s right over her brother and her father of claiming alimony {But he (the father of the baby following a separation) shall bear the cost of their food and clothing}(Baqara 233)

And when Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, complained to the Prophet (peace be upon him) that her husband was mean and tightfisted and didn’t give her enough money for her and her children, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her “ Take what you need for you and your children” (Al Nisaa’y 5010)

And also it is the woman’s right to pick her own husband who is suitable for her and as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “ The woman who has been married before has the right to make the decision on her future marriages, and for an unmarried girl, her father must seek her approval and if she is silent then that is a sign of her approval” (The True Series 1807)

And if a father marries one of his daughters without her approval, the Prophet (peace be upon him) nullifies the marriage and this is recorded in Saheeh Al Bukhary.

Islam made the dowry a woman’s right and Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says {And give the women (on marriage) the dower as a free gift} ( Nisaa 4)

And He gave her the right to enjoy her husband and decreed that the maximum length of time a husband can be separated from his wife is 4 months. If he comes back after the 4 months then it is fine, but if he doesn’t then she can take her case to court, and says Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala {For those who take an oath for abstention from their wives, a waiting for four months is ordained; if then they return, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful* But if their intention is firm for divorce, God heareth and knoweth all things} (Al Bakara 226/227)

And she has the right to live well whether she is a mother {We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents} (Ahqaf 15) or a wife {live with them on a footing of kindness and equity} (Nisaa 19) or even other than that, for she is not forced after marriage to live with a man she doesn’t love, and she has the right to choose to separate from him for a legal reason.

If a married couple are going to separate, then here is shown the woman’s rights over her ex-husband, for she is entitled to alimony during the period of 3 months after the divorce during which she cannot remarry.  And it is her right to breastfeed her baby and so Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says {The mother shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if the father decides to complete the term} (Bakara  233)
And this right to breastfeed her own babies is definite whether she is married or separated from her husband.

And so it is her right, whether she is married or separated from her husband, the custody of her children.

Islam also gave women her own rights in inheritance {From what is left by parents and those nearest related there is a share for men and a share for women, whether the property be small or large, - a determinate share} (Nisaa 7)

Women Rights in Islam - From her human rights:

1. From her human rights:

The right to live; from before she arrives in this world, a baby in her mother’s womb, Islam took care of her rights and banned killing her for God has banned the killing of souls, both of men and women {Nor take life – which God Has made sacred – except for just cause}(Al Isra 33)

And once she is born, Islam banned killing her or burying her alive. {When the female (infant) buried alive, is questioned – for what crime she was killed} (Takwir 8/9)
And ordered for he to be brought up well and promised a great reward for this, such as avoiding the punishment of Hell and the reward of entry to Heaven and being closer to the Apostle (peace be upon him) in there.

Women's Position in Islam

By Ayman Samy

Praise be to God and may God bless Mohammad His messenger (peace be upon him).

God created both females and males from one origin, and one soul. {It is He Who created you from a single person and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her (in love)} (A’raf 189)

Adam appreciated Eve’s worth and they lived together practicing all the meanings of love, kindness, respect, and appreciation. Then as years passed new generations were brought up away from God’s Law, not guided by Him and their lives not brightened by His message, which led to recurring disasters.

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter.

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ radi allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq radi allahu anhu and sister of Aisha radi allahu anha relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam radi allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates: